on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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