Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
