If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
