I wanna bring you to show and tell
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
