Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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