I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
