TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
