you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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