Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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