I'm so fucking centered right now
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
