I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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