Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Randomize