just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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