Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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