Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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