Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
