Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize