if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i barfeds in our rink
you will always have a special place in my vag
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize