Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
