I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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