We're facebook friends in real life
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
