I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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