He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
