Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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