ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
COCAINE IS GR8
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
