Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
