omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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