i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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