I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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