you guys were way drunker than both of me
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
