i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
why do cheetos always look like penises
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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