wat bout pragnant strippers??
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
