"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
