Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
