Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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