Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
