I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
