How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
