She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
