...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
