is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
