I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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