I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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