He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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