I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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