Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
