I hope mine doesn't look like that
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
