She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think I sprained my soul last night
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
