I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
