So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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