Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize