watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
