why didn't you poke me back
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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