He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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