just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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