i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
