i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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