She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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