we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
