I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize