I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
