come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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