ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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