he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
