super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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