Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Are my feet made of real feet?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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