Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
